Spark of Memory
by AshtakRa
Summary: You know the score, he’s been in a coma and has to recover. But just how much of the old Tony remains, and what pieces of his old life will help Tony move on to a new life? TonyMaxxie
1. Chapter 1

Spark of Memory

_By AshtakRa_

Fandom: Skins

Pairing: Tony/Michelle, Tony/Maxxie

Setting: Post season 1

Summary: You know the score, he's been in a coma and has to recover. But just how much of the old Tony remains, and what pieces of his old life will help Tony move on to a new life?

Waking up from a coma decided Tony, was not like getting up in the morning. You did not slowly open your eyes, see light through the window and think _oh its time to get up _or _fuck it I'll sleep for another half hour_ or _why does she have to snuggle in so tight?_ There was no idle thoughts of what he would be doing today or if he would bother with breakfast. Not even a morning hard-on to take care of.

No, waking from a coma was more like clawing your way to consciousness after an exceedingly long night of booze, drugs and, well anything else.

He was in the still paralyzed phase where he could hear and even smell but had not the strength to open his eyes, let alone move an arm or leg. His mouth was dry but his tongue unresponsive. It was hard to even decide whether he was awake or this was one of those dreams where you have to escape from something but cannot move or speak.

Tony had those types often enough. He would be running but suddenly his legs were lead weights, or even worse he would be within sight of help but his voice would clam up. Nothing ever happened to him in these dreams; it was just the dread of being defenseless that woke him up in a cold sweat.

Tony was well read, he knew what the dreams meant but that didn't mean he had to deal with it.

This was no dream. That much he could work out by the myriad of voices surrounding his little twilight zone. He rarely dreamed about his parents, and never his uncle who he could hear speaking with someone in the background. A doctor probably, Uncle Harold was a vet and considered himself part of the medical profession, prat! But still, he was here and for some reason everyone liked Harry, even Tony.

Words filtered in, like brain damage, motor control and memory loss. Tony wanted to scream at them that his memory was fine. He knew his name, knew Uncle Harold and his parents…oh! What were their names again, okay last name first – his last name was…shit, fuck! This was not good.

What the hell was he doing here anyway? His brain struggled though flashes of memory and faces that he could not name, but in the end he had no idea. Curly dark hair seemed to feature prominently with the scent memory of cherry and apricot. Must be his girlfriend, because surely he has a girlfriend and she must be entirely hot.

Nope, still no morning glory, he must really be in bad shape.

Maybe if he tried to remember being with his girlfriend.

Since he could only visualize hair and smell Tony tried to just imagine kissing her. Lips would be soft, breath hot against his and her tongue would be hesitant yet insistent. In his mind the kiss was rushed and something was different, the forced imagination twisted into memory and he could now feel other things. The brush of skin against skin, cloth and ambient room temperature. In this memory though the smell had changed. Gone was cherry and apricots and instead it was musky sweat, citrus and vodka?

Was she drunk? Was he? He tried to pull back in the memory to see her face but instead caught only a glimpse of soft grey eyes and blonde hair. Maybe he had two girlfriends, he was cheating on her? This seemed to spark something painful and the next thing a huge looming bus wiped out all the other thoughts and he flinched.

Not just mentally but finally physically and as he did some feeling returned to his extremities and somebody squeezed his hand and there was suddenly a voice close by his ear. The voice was male and something about it instantly settled Tony, a familiarity of tone and timbre that resonated throughout his body and if he had been able to squeeze back he would have.

Other voices now intruded as the male voice responded to their questions

_No he moved _

_I'm not makin' it up_

He could only hear the one closest to him, whoever it was holding his hand. The other voices suddenly raised; one female in particular and they all spoke too quickly and harshly for him to understand. Tony did however catch certain words and phrases

_Jealous pansy_

_Lying slut_

_Fault_

_Get out!_

_Filthy trash_

_Just fuck off_

The pressure on his hand suddenly increased then let go. A brush of warm air on his cheek as lips ghosted across his own and then the presence was gone. A new hand almost immediately filled the gap left by the last but this hand was too small and seemed cold and weak compared to the other. He wanted to say _come back _or _don't leave me _but the muscles in his throat simply would not work and he noticed the room grow stiflingly quiet. Whatever was happening the other person must have still been in the room.

Lips again pressed against his own but this time it was forced and too wet and just… wrong. This was not the kiss of someone caring for him but thrusting it upon him. Tony didn't know how but figured he probably deserved it.

The female voice, the one who kissed him spoke in a hiss but loud enough for the whole room to hear.

_This is all he ever wanted, not you, not some pathetic fag desperately hanging on to something that was nothing more than a joke… you're the joke, thinking that someone like him would have someone like you, why don't you just go back to hiding in the shadows where you belong bottom boy and let the rest of us who Tony actually likes to be here, I bet he'll probably want to wake up once you're gone…_

She laughed, not kind or humorous but scathing and cruel. Whatever she was doing she had scored points and there was nothing but silence from the other. Tony knew the moment the other person left the room; the tension visibly melted and the hand clutching his tore itself away. The world started fading, whatever hold he had on staying awake was slipping and Tony wanted to cry. He was alone, in a room full of people he felt left out and forgotten. Only the other, the kind male voice with the warm firm lips had said comforting words in his ear and made it feel like everything would be alright.

The last of his consciousness faded to the sound of the annoying sniffling of a girl with weak hands and cold lips.

tbc...


	2. Chapter 2

Spark of Memory

_By AshtakRa_

Fandom: Skins

Pairing: Tony/Michelle, Tony/Maxxie

Setting: Post season 1

Summary: You know the score, he's been in a coma and has to recover. But just how much of the old Tony remains, and what pieces of his old life will help Tony move on to a new life?

Part 2:

"He woke up Maxxie, did you know?"

"No, that's great… is he – did he?"

"Can't talk much but the doc is doing all these tests and said it looks good, well kind of anyway."

"…"

"Maxxie?"

"Sorry, I'm just…that's great Chris, really."

"Christ Max, you cryin'?"

"No."

"Liar…secrets safe with me though."

"Thanks mate."

"So you gonna come and see him?"

"…"

"Max?"

"I don't think I should."

"Listen, that was weeks ago – at our age that's like a decade or something – she was upset, we all were."

"What she said, maybe it was true."

"You're not pathetic."

"No, I mean maybe without me he got better you know – no conflict or bad zen or something."

"That's just bullshit Maxxie, he almost woke up that first time because you _were_ there."

"No one believes me 'bout that."

"I do, and the doc checked and confirmed it – somethin' bout brain activity."

"I just…I can't Chris."

"C'mon Maxxie, you really think he doesn't want to see ya?"

"It'd cause a scene, he doesn't need that and…and neither does she."

"Fuck me, after what she said? You're a kinder man than I Maxxie boy."

"Just, can you just tell him I'm so happy that he's awake."

"Yeah, you sound it."

"You know what I mean."

"Okay, but promise you'll come."

"…"

"Promise!"

"Yes, okay I promise. Hey Chris."

"Yeah mate."

"Thanks."

SKINSSKINSSKINS

Slipping his phone in with his other stuff Maxxie straightened up and let the warm breeze flow across his arms. He needed to find his centre, find that place where everything else faded away and there was only him, the dance surface and the rhythm.

He didn't need music; it was already playing in his head. Breathing out he lifted one foot, brought it back at an angle and touched toe to knee.

_Tony was awake_

Flipping the leg out he used the energy to spin around, steadying with his arms and kicking the other leg out, executing the half cart-wheel perfectly and moving on to the heel, toe and knee movement. The moves were mostly his own, worked on from hours everyday in the studio; just him, the floorboards and the beauty of letting go.

_Blue eyes, matching his own. The cocky grin and those perfect teeth. He knew how that mouth tasted, how those lips, usually sneering, were so much better against his neck._

Mistimed landing meant falling, hands out to stop and use them to flip over – fantastic, anyone would think it had been planned. Tap the feet, bounce the legs until the balance is back; Maxxie grinned at the smooth execution, even after making a mistake.

_Arms around his waist, just harmless touching between friends. He knew better, Tony knew better and knew that he knew. Machiavelli would have loved Tony; why not, everyone else does? A knee against his own in class, hand on his thigh at the pub. That smile that said so much but revealed nothing. Maxxie had fought it and had denied it but how the hell do you fight someone like Tony? He was beautiful, everyone knew that; but also smart, and not just clever but he knew things, about people and about his friends. He knew that Maxxie liked to be bought a drink without asking; that he favoured his left side and avoided people touching his right._

The wind whipped up, blowing his shirt around but he used that to perform the illusion of lifting and hanging in place for just the barest of moments. It was hot, and he could feel the sweat running down his back but it didn't matter, because this was the dance, the thrill and what else mattered?

_Tony knew that Maxxie didn't want to be seen as a slut, even if it got him the attention he so craved. After his class admission Tony could have avoided him, made him the social pariah that he thought he deserved to be…but he didn't. He did stop openly flirting with him though, leaving such things for secret private moments and stolen glances. They never did anything, Tony skillfully steering away from any situation and Maxxie outright avoiding it. He liked Tony but he valued his protective band of friends even more. The best way to ruin it all was to make them choose._

Now, the finale, build up the momentum, spin, twist and arms out… his knees hit against the rail and Maxxie looked down. Mr Kharral was right; it was such fucking stupid messed up world.

SKINSSKINSSKINSSKINS

Clipping shut his phone Chris returned to the waiting room and nodded at Sid, who had asked if Maxxie had been told. Anwar would have done it but had been talking with Michelle. The politics of this situation was getting Chris down and he jiggled a pocket, hearing the satisfying rattle of two very high choice pills. This hospital had very lax security; really, one lock for a drug cabinet?

Still, better to wait for later than get off his face now. There was enough shit flying as it was. Tony's parents had repeatedly asked for some of them to stop coming, especially after complaints from other patients. Fuck them, and fuck his parents. They were good enough he supposed, but then what was his basis of comparison?

In turns they had kept coming, all this time and either reading to him, talking or just playing a game of cards on his legs. His parents had to pretty much cop it since the doctors said it was good, that anything familiar was good.

Chris looked at Michelle and made a quick decision. He wasn't Tony, he hated conflict, but enough was enough and the shit had to end. He sauntered over and bumped into Anwar.

"Right."

"Right." Anwar didn't get the hint so Chris tried to be a little less subtle.

"Fuck off 'kay, gotto talk to Chelle."

She glared at him expectantly, probably trying to wonder if he was going to ask for money or drugs, or both. Rattling his stolen bottle Chris put himself back on track.

"So Tony's awake right, and soon everyone's gonna start goin' to say hello," he waved his hand for emphasis but realized it was a pretty crappy hello wave. More like a royal wave than a friend on friend, fuckin' royals – bet they would have top quality…right, Tony, Michelle, Maxxie – gotta fix it.

"Anyways, Tony will then start wondering where certain people are – like if they're not here…but we all are. Right?"

"Chris, what the fuck are you on about?" she said impatiently, her eyebrow rising in annoyance.

Okay, so his suggestive talking skills needed work, but then when the fuck would he ever need them. Point blank, up front – Michelle would appreciate that.

"Maxxie's not here, its your fault and you need to fix it."

Her jaw dropped and the hand went automatically to the hip, giving her best 'entitled stance' as he had once called it, actually he was the only one who called it that.

"My fault?" she hissed. "My fuckin' fault? What drug has screwed your brain that hard to say its _my_ fault?"

"Well," answered Chris, in he fully believed was his most reasonable and calm voice. "You called him a pansy and a slut," he counted them off on his fingers as a shocked room looked on, Michelle's outburst attracting their attention. "According to you Maxxie was nothing more than filthy trash, and some pathetic fag; and then you blamed the accident on him and told him to fuck off."

Michelle blanched and stuck a finger back in Chris' face. "As if you've never said anything like that!"

"I haven't," said Chris instantly then looked thoughtful. "Well maybe I called him a slut and I've told him to fuck off plenty of times – but it's all about," he shaped his hands into a circle. "Context Michelle – you kicked a mate when they were down, and now you have to fix it up."

"Why should I have to do anything?" she hammered back, pushing his chest with the same finger. "Maxxie broke us up, and Tony wouldn't been on that road-."

"Michelle!" shouted Chris, his easy going voice lost as he glared at her, not wanting to put up with this shit for one more moment. "This isn't about you! Its about Tony, and us," he pointed around at everyone. "An' how we're all mates and we don't dump our mates, we just don't." Tears sprung into his eyes as what he said dug deeper into his own experience and by the silence of the room others also noticed the hidden meaning.

Jal walked up and put an arm around him, looking imploringly at Michelle. "He's right 'Chelle, Maxxie should be here. No matter what's happened we gotta stick together."

Michelle's harsh glare faltered at Jal's words and at Chris' expression.

She nodded. "Okay, I'll talk to him – but I can't leave right now, not with Tony just wakin' up."

"You don't have to Michelle," said Anwar, patting Chris on the back as he walked up. "Maxxie's up on the roof; comes here every day but he stays up there – he didn't want to upset you more."

Michelle managed to look somehow more shocked and Chris felt a twinge of guilt for having spoken so harshly. He smiled and patted her arm. "Just go to him, sort things out – everything will be fine."

"Yeah," she answered shakily. "You weren't the one callin' him names."

"You want me to come with you?" asked Jal.

Michelle shook her head. "I'd better do this alone."

SKINSSKINSSKINSSKINS

The door swung open easily enough and Michelle stepped out, cursing to herself that it had to be the roof. Still, it had to be done. While part of her wanted to keep hating Maxxie she was smart enough to realize that the blame game was a no win situation. Pushing Maxxie away had made her feel better but all it had done was upset others.

The day that Tony would get out of here would be the happiest of her life, but after her and Maxxie's fight she had also dreaded it. No matter what she tried to not see the vision of those two together was still burned into her brain. Add to that the continuation of it. Tony's infatuation with Maxxie had been undeniable, well he would of course deny it but Michelle knew better.

The touching, the looks and the whispered words; maybe she had imagined some of it but not every single time. The reality was if Tony was interested in Maxxie no amount of pushing from Michelle was going to stop it – Tony wasn't built that way and she was pretty sure no amount of coma time would change that.

The object of her former ire, and the reason for her jealousy was across the other side, dancing. Walking closer but not interfering Michelle had to admit the little git was a fabulous dancer, and hot as hell with his shirt billowing up and showing off rippling muscles. Drawing a breath Michelle gasped at herself; it had really been too long since she had a really good fuck.

Maxxie's speed picked up and Michelle wanted to shout as he got really close to the edge, worried he may not realize. At the last moment he stopped, arms outstretched and just froze, right on the very brink of falling. She watched as he looked down and his shoulders slumped and his body eased back, before sliding boneless to the ground.

Walking closer she could see his body shaking and with a start Michelle knew he was crying, bawling like a baby actually. Hesitating Michelle had to decide whether to turn around and walk off, or continue – Chris' words about friendship echoed through her head.

_we don't dump our mates, we just don't_

She sat down beside him and wrapped an arm around Maxxie's shoulder. As the wind whipped her hair about Michelle noticed that she too was crying… perhaps they had more than just Tony in common.

Tbc…


	3. Chapter 3

**Spark of Memory**

_By AshtakRa_

Fandom: Skins

Pairing: Tony/Michelle, Tony/Maxxie

Setting: Post season 1

Summary: You know the score, he's been in a coma and has to recover. But just how much of the old Tony remains, and what pieces of his old life will help Tony move on to a new life?

**Part 3**

"I'm fine Mum," muttered Tony and waved his arm about, pausing again as the cast came into view. It still kind of surprised him since it weighed next to nothing but seemed as strong as concrete. It was already covered in names and comments, some which had been scrawled on while he was still in a coma. He wasn't happy about that, it was kind of obtrusive and it reminded him of his lack of control. Shit, the first day he could barely put two words together and as for getting out of bed or even taking a piss without an audience was bloody impossible.

"For god's sake Tony, you been in a coma and have three broken bones and a cracked skull – you are not bloody okay."

His mother always did have a way of putting things plainly. He had behaved though, stayed in bed and done the exercises. Let the quacks do their tests and not even complain that they had kicked everyone else out but let Michelle stay. Michelle Michelle he repeated the mantra in his head. Names were still hard to remember and he hated having to ask someone's when it was clear he should know.

The others who had been here, he quickly went through their names. Sid was easy, he had known him without prompting and the grin Tony had received made him feel like a six year old reciting the times table for the first time. The pretty blonde standing by Sid was Cassie, pretty girls are always easy to remember. Jal, the other pretty girl – Tony was chuffed that he had all these gorgeous friends. The guy in bright clothes…Chris, he had to furrow his brows to think of that. Chris' face was easy to recall and on sight he knew that he was friends with the guy, just his name kept slipping out of mind. Same as the skinny guy, Andrew – no that's not it, Anny? How could a guy have a name like that, but it seemed right.

They had come in as a group but said hello one by one; testing him with the doctor looking on. So he hadn't known all their names, he had still known them. The strange thing was after the last hello Tony found himself looking at the door, some tickling in the back of his head told him there should be more…somebody was missing. But how could he ask that without the doctor frowning and ordering another round of tests. Fucking quack, the old coot took special pleasure in getting the nurses to put probes and needles in odd places; Tony wasn't going to give him an excuse to do it again.

Michelle hovered about, fluffing his pillows and clutching his hand like he was somehow going to escape. That she loved him there was no doubt and he felt that he loved her, didn't he? Again the vision of whispered words before… then there was nothing. That is when he asked to be alone, yelled for everyone to leave. They had but his parents and Michelle stayed, no matter what protests Tony made.

They were smothering him. While part of him appreciated their care and needed it too, Tony really wanted a moment alone to just try and sort through all these scattered memories. Piecing together what was real and fake, finding the blank spots that might mean he was forgetting something vital.

Blue eyes

Blonde hair

Somebody was missing, he knew that for sure now but how to ask? He had no name and nothing more than a loose description that could make him seem not just forgetful but crazy.

A pressure on his leg made Tony look down to see Effie sitting on the bed. His little sister, he had needed no prompting for her either. In her eyes he saw understanding and empathy. She knew and would help him. Mouthing a please at her he smiled when she spoke up, asking for time alone with her brother. Not even Michelle could object to that and they finally exited the room; in fact Michelle actually gave Effie a significant look and nodded sadly, as if she had just lost something.

_What's up Tone?_ Effie asked without saying a word.

If anyone could be trusted and not betray him to the quack it was Effie.

"Has everyone been to see me?"

She looked at him sideways. "Everyone?"

"Yeah, like all my… mates you know?" Shit, he was still having some trouble with the long consonants, made him sound like a child and feel even worse. Effie ignored it of course, not even trying to finish words for him like his parents kept doing.

Shuffling up closer she put her little hand over his and in her look urged him for more information.

Tony rolled his eyes and hoped this wouldn't make him sound too much like a fuckin' wanker. "Light eyes, g..grey or blue – m…maybe with a hint of green, and b..blonde hair."

She still said nothing but he could tell she knew, but his sister could be evil, even when he was lying in a hospital bed. Unless he gave up more info she would just remain silent. It was game that had been played all their lives and meant she knew more about his life than anyone else.

Sighing heavily Tony risked more. "A guy, and I think he and m..me may have been, you know?" Wow, the more he spoke without interruption the better he got, fuck that doctor who spoke about months of rehab, he'd be done in a week.

Effie's gaze went up the ceiling and danced with laughter. The little witch, she had known all along but still said nothing and only gave him that questioning smile again.

"Look," said Tony firmly, trying to convey to her that this was more than just a game, even if his version of 'look' ended up with a few r's in it, fucking lazy bloody mouth, fuckin' work properly damn it! He felt like pieces of his life were falling away and he had no control. How many things had he lost when the accident happened and would he even know? Keeping hold of the things he could remember and knowing that it wasn't just imagination and hope were more important than scoring points

"This is important to m..me 'kay."

She gave him her most calculating glare before looking furtively at the door. Seeing no-one hanging about she flipped out a phone and hit a few buttons. Tony noticed that whoever she called was on speed dial; that had to mean something. Turning away she spoke so quietly that he couldn't hear a name or anything. She flipped the phone closed and gave him a victorious smile.

Little bitch, she still wasn't telling him any names.

Everyone else must have gone to lunch or something because nobody poked their heads in. Effie pulled out the cards and they played a round of poker, with rules designed specifically by Effie. After the tenth game Tony swore loudly which earned him no sympathy from his sister who simply threw down two pair easily beating his pathetic hand. The nurse came around with lunch, somehow edible and with an extra portion for Effie, how did she manage to charm so many without saying a word? They ate in silence, Tony resisting the urge to throw some mash at her since she smiled when he was unable to hold it steady on a fork. Still, she did roll some up in bread and hand to him with barely a snigger. The time passed quickly and his eyelids fluttered shut, the food still half eaten on the tray.

An incessant poking in his ribs brought Tony back and he tried to ignore it for a few seconds but it became quite painful.

"Quit it Eff," He spoke out the side of his mouth.

The poking got harder until he opened his eyes and glared at her. "Listen s..shitface-."

He paused as she smiled and flicked her eyes at the door. He looked and noticed that someone was standing there.; kind of small, with blonde hair and a face that went from smiling to nervousness, back to smiling then frowning. He was wearing camouflage cargo pants and a tight-fitting blue knit top showing off a lot of skin. It should have looked ridiculous but somehow on this guy it just made him look cute and sexy and smart all in one.

"Hey ya Tony," whispered the new comer and Tony's face lit up in a brilliant smile. He recognized the voice, combined with the hair and eyes it had to be him. Now if only he could come up with a name. His brows furrowed in concentration as flashes of memory revealed that he knew this guy, but no name came to mind. Not wanting to admit it and not wanting to leave him standing like a dolt in the doorway Tony opened his arms, hoping this was somehow appropriate.

"You gonna give us a hug or what?"

The answering smile was worth it and lit up the room and made something in Tony's chest quiver and heat up. The blonde rushed over and enveloped himself in Tony's arms, even laying a chaste kiss on Tony's cheek. He held on for just that little bit longer before rolling back to sit, much like Effie, on the bed next to his hip. Effie had already got up and gave a little wave as she exited the room, not giving Tony time to say thanks – but she would know he appreciated it.

The grin on the blonde's face was infectious and Tony couldn't help but return it and put his hand out, grabbing the other's in his own. It is not something he would have done with everyone but it just seemed right. The other hesitated but squeezed back and gave a little laugh.

"Fuck Tony, its so great to see you awake – I would have come earlier but had to…" his voice just mumbled off, as if he realized he was crapping on too much. "I'm just so," he was lost for words and his eyes were glistening with unshed tears; instead of wiping them away or talking he leaned in to give Tony another kiss on the cheek as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Tony turned his head so instead their lips met, the blonde almost pulled away but Tony used a hand to keep him in place.

He tasted those lips, felt their texture and knew that he had done this before. The kiss deepened as he pressed his tongue into the other's mouth and ran it over his teeth before intertwining their tongues. Tony opened his eyes and found himself staring into those blue eyes that he had dreamt of, and they did indeed seem to have a hint of green. They were laughing eyes, from someone who enjoyed life but also had that hint of sadness, perhaps regret. What was he thinking? Maybe he thought this was some kind of joke; some game that Tony was playing. From what some people had said Tony figured this was part of his persona, he manipulated people. Yet they still liked him; he had yet to figure that out.

Right here and right now though he had to somehow reassure this guy that this was real, that it was something Tony actually wanted. But how? Don't think – just act.

He leaned back and continued to smile at the blonde, no… not 'the blonde', he had a name.

"Maxxie," whispered Tony, knowing it was correct the moment he spoke. If anything the grin he got back was bigger than before, and so much better now that Tony knew that mouth. The rush of memories that accompanied Maxxie's name assaulted Tony like an avalanche and he was unable to filter through them. He knew though, without thinking too much about it, that he had hidden what he wanted under so much bravado and lies that it was a wonder that Maxxie, or Michelle for that matter, would even be in the same room as him.

"I think," said Tony, licking his own lips and still tasting Maxxie on them. "That maybe I've been asleep for far too long."

Tbc…


	4. Chapter 4

_Hi all, this parts a bit longer but I wanted to finish it off in one go. Thanks very much to all who have read and reviewed. I guess I should say that I have really enjoyed writing this story, to me it is about so much more than Tony and Maxxie, and for that I say great work to the Skins writers and producers for giving us such a fantastic ensemble cast and storyline. I won't say anymore until you read the final paragraph.__  
_  
**Spark of Memory**

_By AshtakRa_

Fandom: Skins

Pairing: Tony/Michelle, Tony/Maxxie

Setting: Post season 1

Summary: You know the score, he's been in a coma and has to recover. But just how much of the old Tony remains, and what pieces of his old life will help Tony move on to a new life?

Links to previous chapters and other stories: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 AshtakRa Masterfile

Part 4

Sid speaks…

I love Tony. Well it's not what you think, I mean I love him but I'm not in love with him; I think that's a line from a movie, wait… yep it's definitely a movie. Fits though, Tony and me have been friends for what seem like my whole life, that or maybe without him I wasn't really living. Yeah, pathetic huh? But I don't care; I know he uses me, and we fight and I always end up giving in and then the cycle starts over. You see, he knows that too, and if I didn't give in, if I didn't let him own me then what would Tony do then?

Some people need things, or they can't survive. I know biology, a little anyhow. Humans need food, shelter and um, something else to survive. But some people, like Tony, need a lot more or they would probably just wither and die. Maybe I'm not explaining myself properly.

If there was a war, like one where we were invaded and shit like that, and say we then entered like a dark age and had to resort to fighting with just axes and swords, well if that happened then I would want exactly two people with me. Aragorn, because the guy can seriously kick arse, and Tony. Tony, because I know that I could trust my life with him, I would put my life, literally, in his hands. Yeah, he might lend me out to perverted sex-crazed half-men, and probably make me carry everything but I know that he would never really hurt me, not when it counted.

He feels the same, I know. How? You have to realize that I know everything about him, what his secrets are, where they're hidden and what really makes him afraid. Face it, he's superman and I'm the owner of the kryptonite – 'cept I'd never sell.

So if you're going to categorize what we are then I will say it again, I love Tony. Just not in a gay way, well maybe a little – I mean sometimes when we've been in bed I have thought about it. But I don't think I'm high enough on the Gay Scale to actually do anything (I remember Angie saying somethin' 'bout a gay scale in psychology – Maxxie found it hilarious for some reason).

So not really gay, I'll leave that to Maxxie, and Tony now it seems. Fuck! I mean have you seen them lately? And they think no-one notices; well they seem to want to keep it quiet anyway. Of course not in front of me, like furniture I am – or maybe they just trust me. But even when they're not groping and sucking each other's mouths off the lovey dovey eyes and the wanton glances should be enough for blind Freddie to see what's going on.

Yet when I mention it to the guys they just tell me I'm imagin' things – or 'projecting' as Jal so eloquently put it. Yeah, that's right. I'm the one who wants to be lying next to Tony, thrashing about and doing things that recently woken comatose patients should not be able to handle.

Michelle's the strangest of all. She knows what's goin' on – they may not shove it in her face like they do to me but I can see it in her eyes. Yet she just says nothing, accepts it like all the times he cheated on her. Strange girl, kind of makes me wonder why I still love her? Yeah, I know… what about Cassie; well I am still a teenager you know.

So Tony gets out of hospital tomorrow and naturally we have decided to throw a kick arse party. Apparently he can't drink, or do drugs, or dance too much, or have sex (yeah right!) but we all still can, so any excuse huh? Chris has some freshly imported pharmasuticals pharamasuitic, some good shit and Jal has nicked a whole heap of top shelf liqueurs. Its going to be wild, like old times 'cept Tony will be sober, and straight (the non-drug kind) and still trying to remember names and crap like that.

So, not really like old times but at least better than the last six months.

**SKINSSKINSSKINS**

"Why're grinning at me like that Sid? You look like you want to kiss me or something""

Sid shook his head. "Nah Tone, just good to have you back that's all."

The two friends shared a stare before Tony leaned over and stole Sid's lager. "Thank's mate – wouldn't begrudge a cripple would you?"

Sid wouldn't, but then he would also give his drink to Tony before a cripple, so there was very little chance of him arguing. Of course he should say that Tony wasn't crippled, that unsteady hands and the odd slurred word were hardly putting him in that category. In fact in a few hours Tony may be the only one who could still stand without help; that kind of put things in perspective.

Maxxie came bounding up, swinging his head to some beat that Sid wasn't even sure anyone could hear, and went to hand Tony a drink. Seeing he had one, and Sid's hand empty he tossed it to Sid without a word. Tony and Maxxie gave each other a smile and furtively touched fingertips behind their bodies. Sid wanted to scream to just fucking come out with it and stop hiding but it worked for them, so he remained quiet. To show that the old Tony was still lingering in this new and improved version the taller boy gave Sid a knowing smile and nod of thanks. He still saw everything thought Sid, he just didn't act on it anymore.

The three friends stood silently, drinking and watching the party while leaning against the wall. Quite a lot of people were here, not surprising really since the word had got out that there would be top quality shit to be had. Chris was probably making a fortune since most of their inner circle had declined the drugs, somehow banding together without even discussing it – if Tony couldn't have any none of them would. Even Chris was not indulging; well not yet, the guy was no saint.

That didn't prevent alcohol but once again everyone seemed to be keeping pace with Tony, again without any group discussion. It was these things that made Sid aware of how lucky they all were to have a group like theirs. Many wouldn't see it, the little things that showed how much they cared, but he did. Case in point was just now, Tony only had to fall into the wall a little more and suddenly Maxxie was deciding they should move to the couch, the incumbents making way as Maxxie swooped down.

Tony sat at the end, Maxxie perching on the armrest and trying not to make it look like he deliberately chose that spot. Sid sat in the middle of course; Jal, Michelle and Cassie joined them rounding off the seat, the latter snuggling on Sid's lap. Sid gave Michelle a supportive smile, knowing she was trying hard to keep quiet about Tony and Maxxie while 'apparently' still going out with Tony. It should have been messy and she should by rights be screaming her fucking head off.

She didn't; he had to guess her and Maxxie had worked something out and Jal probably knew, he could try and get it out of her later. Cassie would know but her mind was a steel trap sometimes; that or she'd tell him in a riddle he would never understand. A hand placed itself on his shoulder but Sid pretended it wasn't there, apart from leaning into it a bit. Tony might never voice it but it was his way of saying thanks; for understanding him and Maxxie, for looking out for Michelle – and just about everything else.

**SKINSSKINSKINSSKINS**

Anwar was fairly certain that Sid was right. Tony and Maxxie were fucking…or at least getting around to it since Tony was still a little unsteady. That wouldn't have stopped the old Tony but this new version was a little more…restrained. Anwar wasn't one to ponder things too much; there was just too little time. But these were his mates and he was a worried about them, especially Maxxie.

The guy could handle himself, no thought Anwar, he thought he could handle himself. He may be the fittest of them all but his muscles were for dancing and 'cosmetic', he couldn't fight for shit and only ever got himself into more trouble. Anwar was totally impressed with what he did in Russia, but what if the mad fucking Russian had decided to shoot; or the cops hadn't turned up? He wouldn't admit it to anyone but Anwar had nightmares about Maxxie lying in a pool of blood, his dead eyes looking at Anwar in accusation.

It was a dangerous world and Maxxie was just too, well he was too open. This is why Anwar stayed alert, not because he was an alarmist or even worse, turning into his mother – but he heard things and saw things. He wasn't worried about anyone they knew, everyone was cool with him, and with Maxxie, they had to be or not hang out with them. It was some of the lads that were friends of friends, or more likely friends of friends of friends.

Anwar knew to look for such trouble makers. He was a brown Muslim boy; if you didn't keep one eye on the street sooner or later you got smashed. Maxxie didn't look out for it and Tony wouldn't know to look for it. So it was only Anwar who noticed the five guys arrive, with hoodies pulled up and angry eyes. Fuck! For all the practice his roundhouse kick didn't have even a tenth the impact Chuck Norris' had.

The five made a beeline for the group of friends sitting on the couch, Anwar tried to run and interfere but one of the hoodies managed to block him out of the room, his grim sneer leaving no room for Anwar to doubt that they were trouble.

He could still see over the guy's shoulder however and saw two of the intruders remove their hoods. They obviously expected some kind of reaction but Tony just looked blankly at them and shrugged. He couldn't remember who they were but Anwar recognized one of them – it was Josh, the sick fuck who had orchestrated Effie's kidnap and resulting humiliation of Tony.

The music was too loud for Anwar to see anything but there was a lot of finger pointing and mouthing off. At one point Michelle stood and faced down Josh, but the fucker laughed and pushed her down. Tony tried to jump up to her defense but his legs seemed to collapse under him and Josh laughed again, making some side comment to the one beside him. Anwar tensed as he saw Maxxie leap off the couch and put himself right in Josh's face, his lips moving fast but the words were obvious.

The one on the left of Josh suddenly swung without warning and his fist slammed into Maxxie's stomach, the blonde going down fast and all four thugs inside laughed loudly. The one watching Anwar turned to see what was happening and Anwar took the chance. He backed up and swung with all his strength and when the guy turned back around he copped a face full of doc martin. It may have not been a Chuck Norris blow but the fucker went down. Then of course as Anwar jumped in all hell broke loose as Chris came in swinging from the other door.

Truth be told, thought Anwar as he wrestled with one hoodie, these guys were bigger and stronger and outnumbered them. Then again, as he saw nothing but a bit of blonde hair beneath all the feet, he had more to fight for. He grabbed the guy's hood and swung it about, building momentum until he released at exactly the right moment, sending the guy slamming into, and through, the wall.

Chris, Sid and the girls seemed to be doing some good as well, only Josh still remained. The other two had run after Jal socked one in the balls and Michelle kicked his head as he went down. Sid had thrown the other out the door by use of a headlock Anwar had taught him, a bit of pride swept through Anwar at that. The one Anwar had kicked had left as well, the one in the wall moaned and staggered out.

Tony was still on the couch, staring balefully at Josh who remained facing them all down. The guy sneered and spat at Tony before his lips curled into a vicious smile. Wondering what could make him smile when he was outnumbered Anwar saw a figure move at Josh's feet – Maxxie! Josh didn't hesitate and grabbed the blonde by his hair, lifting him before king hitting Maxxie right in the face, followed by three quick jabs. He did it lightning fast, like a boxer and Anwar cursed private education and their love of blood sports.

Chris and Sid tackled the thug but not before he got in another few hits and Maxxie's head just wobbled about like a rag doll. Tony screamed Maxxie's name and lunged forward, belatedly wrapping a protective arm around the blonde. Chris and Sid dragged Josh out, putting in some kicks and pummeling of their own.

Anwar crouched down; the rush that was pumping through his veins now going ice-cold at the sight of his best mate's bloodied features.

**SKINSSKINSSKINSSKINSSKINS**

Jal couldn't help it as tears filled her eyes. They had all been knocked about before and there was Tony's accident – but she had never seen him until he was patched up, and she had never seen any of them attacked so ferociously. Tony cradled Maxxie in his arms and she could see tears leaking from his eyes as well. The blonde's face was covered in blood and he seemed only half conscious, his eyes rolling about unaware of his surroundings.

Tony was muttering his name softly and caressing Maxxie's left cheek, the only part unmarked by blood. Jal sat down beside them and stroked Maxxie's hair, it was matted with blood but she didn't care; all that mattered was human touch – letting Maxxie know they were here and he was safe.

A few party goers stuck their heads and one quickly pulled a phone, Jal could half hear it as they called for an ambulance. Somehow the rest knew to stay out and keep a respectful space around their huddled group. Anwar sniffed and murmured Maxxie's name as well, he looked pleadingly into Jal's eyes like she could do something. Maybe she could.

"He'll be fine," she said, to him and Tony. "It's just a little blood that's all; cuts on the head always bleed more."

"It's all my fault," muttered Tony, his hand not leaving Maxxie's face. "I should have stopped this, I could have…before."

"Don't be stupid Tony," replied Jal crossly. "Josh was looking for trouble tonight and he wasn't going to stop until he got it."

Tony seemingly ignored her. "Maxxie, I'm so sorry – please be okay, please." His words collapsed into a sob and although Jal knew about the two of them it was only now that she actually believed Tony was sincere. Michelle, who was holding one of Maxxie's limp hands, gave a quick smile to Jal, as if to say – see, I told you so. It wasn't a malicious smile, but one of regretful acceptance.

Sid and Chris returned and immediately joined the group; the others made room so they could all grip a limb or put a reassuring hand on Maxxie. The blonde never said anything, he whimpered now and then and his eyes continued to roll before they closed ever so slowly.

Once that happened Tony leant down, kissing him on the lips. "Stay, stay with me," he pleaded over and over.

His breathing became more labored and as Jal checked his pulse it was weak but racing. She looked worriedly at Anwar, he had noticed too and his eyes had that frantic look to them. Everyone else seemed shell-shocked; too stunned to say anything but they didn't need to. Jal could feel every one of them willing their strength into Maxxie, the one person in their group who everyone loved without reserve.

"Come on Maxxie," Jal heard herself whisper. "You don't quit this easily you little shit, you can't let a stupid fucker like Josh defeat you."

"Yeah," said Chris, continuing on from Jal. "I thought you had more strength Maxxie, pull it together."

"You're not allowed to leave Maxxie," said Anwar forcefully. "You and me against the world right, mates forever, you promised."

"Jeez Maxxie, without you how am I gonna learn how to dance?" said Sid, his glasses hid his eyes in the low light but Jal would bet there was tears in them. "You just can't fucking do that to me."

"I will have to dump Sid if he doesn't dance soon so you really must be alright," said Cassie, for once her attention fixated on one person and position. "And I do need you to be there for me, just because, you know, you're you."

Michelle leaned down and placed a light kiss on his forehead. "I know how strong you are Maxxie, no matter what people have done to you…said to you," she sniffed at that and a tear dripped form her nose. "You always pick yourself up and stand tall, do that now you little fuck…and besides, we had a deal and you don't get out of it this easily." She looked up at Tony when she said the last, letting him know that she knew everything and that it was okay.

Jal knew about the deal, wasn't much Michelle didn't tell her. Michelle and Maxxie both loved Tony but they also both knew Tony – he would try to have them both if he could, and that would destroy everything. So they had agreed to support the other, no matter what Tony chose, or who; and also to step aside for the other as well – keeping their group intact at all costs. It was obvious from almost the start that Tony wanted Maxxie more, he still paid attention to Michelle but that all evaporated when Maxxie entered the room. Tony may have professed his love for Michelle before the accident, but that Tony and this one were different, same but different. Michelle had already let go, she just hadn't told Tony.

Sirens could be heard in the distance and Tony placed his spare hand over Michelle's, so that they both had fingers intertwined in Maxxie's hair. He eased himself down, until his mouth was by Maxxie's ear.

"Don't leave me Max," he whispered just loud enough for everyone to hear. The sirens grew louder and stopped but he continued. "I want you in my life, not just behind closed doors but everywhere and all the time, I love you Maxxie – come back to me Maxxie, come back."

Just as the paramedics entered the room Maxxie coughed and his eyes slowly opened, focusing immediately on Tony. Jal felt herself pushed out of the way as did the others but could see Tony refusing to relinquish his place. As the medics worked on Maxxie the blonde moved a little more; his arms shifting of their own accord and his fingers flexing to grip Tony's hand. Just before an oxygen mask was placed over his mouth his lips moved and Tony's face brightened.

Jal smiled too, she was good at lip reading from growing up around music. Quite simply Maxxie had said "Love you too".

As Maxxie was loaded into the ambulance with Tony by his side Jal felt an arm across her shoulder; Chris'. He had that satisfied yet half-away expression, as if he knew some secret happiness that no-one else understood. Anwar had draped an arm over Chris' shoulder in turn and Michelle put an arm around Jal's waist from the other side. Sid had one arm around Michelle and the other Cassie.

Jal smiled at Chris, she knew that secret too. One simple word…mates.

The end.

_Notes: Growing up I have been surrounded by the most amazing and loyal friends. I often hear people talk of the unbreakable bonds of family but it is those people I choose to be with that make me who I am. Family are always there for you, but best friends __want__ to be always there for you. When I am down, when I need help and sometimes just when I need companionable silence...you keep me honest and safe, make me laugh and teach me so much about life. I love each and every one of you.___

_extra note: yes I know, I gave no Cassie voice - but really, is that even possible?___

_My mates, this one was for you guys_


End file.
